


The Chicken Game and Alcohol

by ooBerry



Series: Attack on Silly People [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Eren gets harassed srry, Eren is forced to wear an embarassing costume after losing a bet, Erwin dresses up as Captain America youre welcome, Mikasa's an intervening little shit, More stuff, Multi, erens pov, halloween party, lots of Jean hating, more pairing possibly, non-binary hanji, oh yeah lots of cussing, screw Jean, to Jean, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-19 14:03:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2390999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ooBerry/pseuds/ooBerry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren loses a bet to Jean and has to attend Erwin's Halloween party in a costume chosen by Jean.<br/>Havoc ensues, including Mikasa being meddlesome, Armin being a cute douche, Jean being a horse douche, Eren getting harassed and then Eren getting drunk off his ass.</p><p>How will Levi react when Eren literally falls into his room?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Before the Party

**Author's Note:**

> i probably have a lot of grammatical mistakes, i apologize  
> i had a lot of fun writing this  
> and it'll have a cute ending, i promise to finish this soon  
> these guys are presh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE HALLOWEEN 15th--  
> There will be a sequel! More info in the bottom note on the last chapter here uvu

One thing I’ve never understood- nor will ever understand- was Jean’s asshole-ish tendencies.  
Just…  
Why?  
Why, Jean, why?  
As I stood in front of the mirror with Mikasa holding back a laugh all I could do was repeat the word ‘why’ in my mind. More like why would Armin let this happen, I thought bitterly.  
Godamn blonde coconut dating the horse-face. Y’now, one of those days Armin was going to have to choose who was more important: me, his best friend, or Jean, his douchey lover.  
I heard a click from behind me and realized Mikasa had taken a photo of me. I quickly turned and lunged at her, “Mikasa! No!”  
She fell back and refused to hand over the camera so I ended up on top of her and we wrestled for ownership of the camera.  
It may have seemed like we were doing something else (wink wink) to someone who, I don’t know, walked in at the wrong moment (hint hint), but we were siblings. Despite how often strangers seemed to pair us together, sexual relations between us was not even a distant idea. It was fucking Pluto and we were the sun of an opposing galaxy. Incest wasn’t our thing (well unless it was necessary for a prank or to hide from an ex/ awkward admirer –coughcoughJeancoughcough-).  
Speaking of people walking in at the wrong moment, guess who did just that??  
You got it- Jean!!  
Wow, do I hate life.  
“Damn Jaeger, you’ve got a nice ass,” he whistled.  
Could he have walked in at a time when I wasn’t on top of my sister with my ass open in the air, pointed at the door, while wearing a mini skirt?? Would that have been too inconvenient for him?!  
While Mikasa was momentarily distracted by Jean’s intrusion I dove for the camera in her hand. In a flash I turned and threw the damn thing at Jean’s head at full force.  
See the good thing was that I could guarantee it would hit him; Armin was behind him and he wasn’t going to just duck and let a flying device maim, and possibly kill, his precious shota.  
So naturally the asshole ducked and since Armin is short, it flew right over his blonde head. Dammit.  
“Eren!!” Armin shrieked as he watched the failed homicide attempt crash into something most likely important.  
I swore under my breath and got up to fix my skirt so I could stand up to Jean with at least a little bit of dignity.  
There was a reason I was wearing a skimpy cheerleader uniform, trust me. However stupid it made me seem, it still existed.  
Jean and I made a dumb dare thing- we played the chicken game and whoever chickened out first had to go to Erwin’s Halloween party in a costume chosen by the winner.  
The chicken game consisted of touching someone and slowly inching closer and closer to a sensitive/ inappropriate area until they got too nervous and ultimately ‘chickened’ out. Now usually I’d rule at this game. I’d dominate like a seme in a Fifty Shades of Grey yaoi AU. But Jean totally cheated and as soon as we started his hand was in my pants, but over my boxers, and had a firm grip on my dick. I wasn’t expecting this and screamed as I jumped back.  
Apparently I shouted something that vaguely sounded like ‘chicken’, to which Armin even testified to (spoiler: Armin’s a douche). When I brought up that it wasn’t fair because Jean went straight to a no-no spot instead of slowly getting closer, his defense was that he hadn’t technically touched my no-no spot yet.  
Fuck Jean, okay. Fuck him and his shit-eating grin and fuck those creepy-ass eyes that were staring at my butt.  
It occurred to me as I contemplated kicking the horse-face in the nuts, that he and Armin weren’t wearing costumes. I frowned and glanced back and forth between them, “Wait, why aren’t you guys wearing costumes?”  
“Why are you guys even here?” Good ‘ol Mikasa asking all the important questions. I had yet to even wonder why they had barged into our apartment.  
“We’re not coming to the party tonight,” Jean answered.  
“We’re going on a date so we just wanted to come by and let you know,” Armin added.  
“Aw boo,” I pouted, “You suck Armin, I wanted you to go.”  
“What about me?” Jean whined. Y’know what? Screw you Jean.  
I raised my hand and flipped him off but kept my attention on Armin. “So what are you nerds gonna do?”  
Jean slapped my hand away and answered for his boyfriend, “We’re going out to see a few horror movies.”  
I snorted and went back to the mirror to fix my appearance. Fine. Go ahead and ditch me Armin, see if I care. It’s not like I needed my wingman anyway- nobody was going to be flirting with a dude in a miniskirt. At least, I didn’t think so. I wasn’t sure if I wanted anyone to flirt with me while I was so….uh, off my game. Oh God what if some gay guy started flirting and I was too embarrassed- what if Levi-  
“Anyway, Mikasa, I brought my old football gear,” Jean lifted the duffel bag in his hand.  
“Oh thanks.” Wait Mikasa what.  
“Why are you bringing her your sweaty crap?” I asked blankly. That stuff’s nasty; you couldn’t even pay me to touch it.  
“I asked him for his old stuff so I could go to the party as a football player, since you’re going as a cheerleader.” Ew. But at least I wasn’t going to be the only cross dresser.  
Jean smirked and whacked the back of my head, “She’s not God Jaeger. You don’t have to look at her so admiringly.” Yeah, actually I did, because she’s nice and she seemed like an angel next to your demonic aura.  
Armin tugged on Jean’s shirt, “C’mon let’s go so they can get ready.” Yeah, fine okay. Nice knowing you. Our trio was nice while it lasted. Before you ditched us for your douchebag boyfriend.  
And with that they put on their smiles, apologized for dropping out so late notice, and waved goodbye as they showed themselves out.  
Mikasa began pulling stuff out of Jean’s bag and I was shocked to find myself not gagging from the smell.  
She must have noticed me getting curious. “I asked him to clean it thoroughly before bringing it; I’m not stupid, Eren. Come help me figure out how to put it on.”  
I scoffed but crossed the room to help her anyway. I wasn’t in football, nor had I even been in or involved in it in anyway, but it seems I’d be more likely to figure it out…somehow?  
I don’t know, maybe it was just to help her get it on since it was so big on her I don’t know, jeez why am I reading into this so much.  
Anyway, about five years later we were finally ready to leave.  
I was at the door with my phone in hand waiting for her to grab her bag when she appeared with something in her hand.  
She gestured for me to give her my hand and gave me a concealed object.  
I looked down and, lo behold, a condom.  
“Levi will be there.” Seriously Mikasa, that’s your explanation.  
She then tapped her purse, “Just in case you need more, I have extra.”  
“Mikasa!!” I hissed, “Put that shit away, Jesus fuck-”  
“Eren you have to protect yourself.”  
I covered my face and looked down in shame. She was horrible, she was truly horrible- I took back what I had said about her being God or whatever.  
“Eren, please just take it.” No. I shook my head and she sighed, “Eren, seriously, you aren’t ten years old anymore.”  
I quickly racked my brain for an excuse to change the subject forever and leave it dead on the side of the road where a starving man could take it for dinner and then he’d digest it and it’d end up in the toilet of a corner store where it’d be flushed and carried into the ocean only to drop to the pits of hell and never be seen, thought of, or heard again. Then boom- I struck gold, “No you don’t understand, I don’t have any pockets. Where would I even put it? In my underwear? Like ‘oh yeah Jaeger I like the condom sitting on your butt. That’s attractive.’ So you just take this- and let’s just fucking go!!”  
And with that I ran out of the apartment before she could protest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone reading this! It makes me really happy and the comments make me really excited (hint hint- go comment)  
> My tumblr is ooberry.tumblr.com if you're ever interested in seeing me be the idiot i am.  
> you can also request a fanfic through my tumblr if you'd like~


	2. The Party's Just Starting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi comes in the next chapter sorry if you were hoping to see him in this one uvu  
> I plan on keeping the chapters about this size, i think it's nice that it's short but not too short so expect chapters this size.  
> this isnt a long fanfic, but i dont know how many chapters itll end up being.

The party was big. There was a lot of people but it wasn’t a ridiculously crazy crowd- Erwin’s cool like that. ‘Alcohol, no drugs and no open making out or fucking’. I guess it also helps that he only invited fairly tame people that weren’t idiots.  
When we arrived Erwin found us and hugged us both. He laughed at our costumes and we praised his- he was Captain America and he looked perfect. Erwin WAS Captain America. One time he did 100 pushups with me sitting on his shoulders. Granted, I wasn’t exactly big (I mean Mikasa was bigger than me), but I wasn’t small either. I was bigger than Levi and that’s all that really mattered.  
Speaking of Levi, where was he? I looked around the room we were in. Levi, Erwin, Petra and Hanji shared the apartment (don’t worry, it was a generously sized place), so I expected to see each of them at some point. I knew Hanji would find and kidnap me at some point, Petra and I would bump into each other a few times and I’d already seen Erwin so all that was left was Levi. He was the one you had to search for.  
Now if I were an angry, black haired midget in an apartment full of drunk people (or soon to be drunk) in costumes, where would I be? Or rather, where would I hide?  
Probably in my room.  
I excused myself from Mikasa and headed towards Levi’s room. She patted me on the head, which was awkward…I don’t know what that was about.  
Anyhoodle, I shrugged it off and began my journey. I received a few whistles and sauntered by them just to humor those people. I guess it was kinda fun to wear the costume. I did feel uncomfortable but it was funny and it did get me plenty of attention.  
When I got to his room, I found it was locked. I sighed and went to find Petra. Levi gave keys to his room to each of the people he lived with. Erwin would be busy being Captain America, Hanji, as I said earlier, would without a doubt be undetectable until they found me, so that left Petra.  
Plus Petra knew I liked Levi so there’s be no questions asked. Well, Hanji and Erwin probably knew but they liked to tease in hopes that I’d admit it out loud. Assholes.  
If I remembered correctly, Petra said she was going to be Strawberry Shortcake (weird decision but she was adorable so she could do anything she wanted honestly). I wandered around for a while and tried to find the strawberry.  
When I thought about it though, I realized I didn’t really know where she would even be. Drinking a martini? Possible. Playing spin the bottle? Possible. Dunking for apples? Not possible, she’d be dunking for strawberries! Making out with Levi? Suspiciously possible.  
“Hey you wouldn’t happen to be looking for me, wouldja?” It would seem Hanji had found me.  
They were dressed as a mad scientist and may I just say- they fit the role well.  
“Oh wow, you’d actually make a hot cheerleader.” Gee thanks.  
I rolled my eyes and gave them a hug, “Nice to see you too Hanji.”  
“So who is Mr. Jealousy looking for?” they smiled. Hanji was just begging me to say Levi, I knew it. Oh and Mr. Jealousy was my nickname- I have really bright green eyes so y’know, ‘Green-Eyed Monster’? Then buh-bam, I’m suddenly Mr. Jealousy. I wasn’t a particularly jealous person though; it was just a joke and we all knew it.  
“Petra.” Hah. You jerkwad bet you didn’t think I was looking for her, huh.  
Their eyes glinted mischievously, “Oh? Why are you looking for Petra?”  
My face fell immediately- that arse knew exactly why I was looking for Petra. God I hated neuroscience majors. Well, the ones named Hanji Zoe. And if your name is Hanji Zoe and you are a neuroscience major that isn’t my Hanji, I apologize greatly.  
“I, uh, uhm…” I mumbled, “I wanted to show her this costume.” Yeah. Totally.  
Hanji laughed and patted my shoulder as they pulled a key out of their pocket with their other hand. They winked and put it in my hand as they pointed at my head, “Here. And I see you’re prepared there.”  
Wait what.  
They walked away and disappeared before I could ask them why they gave me the key and why they pointed at my head which seemed to be the equivalent to me being prepared?? I reached up and gently touched the top of my head and- Godammit- how…  
A condom. A fucking condom. On my head. How??- MIKASA. WHEN SHE PATTED MY HEAD. THE WHOLE TIME I HAD BEEN WALKING AROUND I-  
I really hated her intervening sometimes. Okay, all the time.  
After getting over my freaking out about my previous crown, I was back to freaking out over the powerful object in my hand.  
Hanji gave me the key to Levi’s room. I could just walk in there and talk to him and I’d probably mess up whatever it is I was going to say and eternally embarrass myself but at least I’d get to chat with him, right?  
I mentally slapped myself and exhaled slowly. Screw that mentality! I was just going to hang out with Levi a while, right? I snorted at the thought- he was probably going to kick me out of his room before I even entered it.  
My motivational mind monologuing (from this moment forward known as MMM or pronounced ‘mmm’ suggestively) was interrupted by a hand on my ass.  
Now I was okay with the previous cat calling and whistling because I joked around right with them, but touching me was not okay.  
Where was the overprotective sister when you needed her?  
I didn’t really need her though- I was perfectly capable of taking care of the issue by myself.  
I had already started on my way up to Levi’s room, so I took another step up the stairs to give myself more momentum so swing my fist right into some guys face.  
He fell back for just a moment while covering his face, but when he brought his hand down I realized I was fucked. And not in a good way.


	3. Hello Angry Midget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haaaaaaaaaaaaaaah  
> how long is this thing going to be  
> i know how to end it and all but still

Chapter 3  
He was huge. He was obviously drunk and his expression told me he was pissed and turned on. I don’t know how I managed to make him hard by punching him, but if he wasn’t so pissed off I might have thought it an accomplishment.  
Fight or flight. I had already attempted a fight, so next I decided to flee like a giant mindless monster was chasing me- it was possible. Any moment he could have bitten his hand or something and suddenly turned into a giant thing…I dunno, I used to have dreams when I was little about biting my thumb and turning into a…what did I call it? Titan! I used to call them titans. I run around screaming titans all the time, oh man one time I almost got kicked out of kindergarten-  
Ah ah ah- time to get back to the large angry man eyeing me like I was prey.  
True, he was drunk and probably slow on his feet, but he was a lot bigger than me and I didn’t want to chance him grabbing me.  
So I ran. I ran up the stairs and prayed I wouldn’t trip. I had almost reached the top of the stairs when I felt his hand graze my ankle and for a second I was horrified he was going to yank me into the ground. What would he have done to me? Beat me? Rape me? Both? Both and removed then eaten my guts? There was just no telling with ‘Reiner’ as his name tag read. I don’t know, the dang thing could have been fake. He was either dressed as a Target employee or was too lazy to get a costume- either way….wait why did any of that even matter what was I thinking about what even??  
Luckily, he had only barely touched my ankle; he didn’t actually grab it. When I reached the top of the stairs my sprint took a moment too long to slow down (because it took a lot more effort to run up the stairs than it did to run on flat ground, y’know? I was basically running to fast and running the threat of tripping over my own feet) so I ran straight into Levi’s door. I fumbled with the key and desperately tried to unlock the damn door why the fuck did this asshole have to lock his door why why why why why why Levi why.  
Suddenly he had reached me and turned me around so my back was against the door. Fuck. My leg immediately flew up to kick his balls- and hard.  
He bent down, hands covering his injury (which I realized was a bad idea when I noticed he was at eye level with the edge of my skirt) and I was able to see the bottom of the stairs where an angry Captain America stood glaring up at my skirt. Or probably the man in front of my skirt. Yeah probably.  
Then multiple things happened at once. Well, it was more like two things, but it felt like a lot more.  
Captain America ran up the stairs in what seemed like one step all together and at the same time the door behind me opened which caused me to fall backwards. I felt myself fall into somebody’d arms who fumbled and fell back with me as they slammed the door in my assaulter’s face, just as Captain America reached the top of the stairs.  
My human pillow and I sat in silence for a moment. Well I said human pillow because I didn’t want to admit it was who I knew it was. His arms were around me and I was sitting in his lap- oh no my skirt totally flipped up when I fell so my underwear was pretty much exposed. I hadn’t even had any alcohol yet I had no excuse oh God.  
Don’t get a boner Eren, don’t do it. Please, just don’t.  
“Eren?”  
“Y-yeah?” Fuck don’t stutter dammit Jaeger, pull it together.  
The door suddenly opened before Levi could say whatever it was he wanted to say. Or maybe he was just confirming that it was me.  
Captain America- uh Erwin (how long had I been calling him Captain America?)- poked his head into the room. “Eren, are you okay?”  
Not able to speak, I nodded hurriedly. He sighed, “Okay, good.” He glanced above me at Levi as if giving him a separate message, “Maybe you should stay in here for a while.” He was totally telling Levi to keep me in there. Wait why.  
“Uh, what happened to that one assho- guy?” I asked hesitantly.  
Captain America fuck, ERWIN, flashed a dazzling smile, “Don’t worry; I’ll take care of him.” Oh God, Captain America wasn’t supposed to be a murderer. He locked the door and then left.  
I was still sitting on Levi. Honestly, I did consider getting up but…I liked it alright?? I liked sitting with his arms around me, is that a crime?? ( I could just imagine Hanji’s cackling at the whole situation, oh gosh, note to self: don’t ever tell Hanji about this).  
His hands came down my stomach and whoa, for a second I thought things were about to get really hot (totally would have been cool with that btw) but instead he simply fixed my skirt and helped me stand.  
“What happened?” Oh y’know, Jean’s asshole-ish tendencies resulted in me being attacked by some even bigger asshole while I was on my way to your room because I was totally in love with you and I’d never hear the end of it from Mikasa, Hanji, Erwin, Petra and Armin which frustrated me beyond belief because everyone knew except you unless you did know and you just weren’t doing anything, if so then you were a real-  
“I don’t know…” I mumbled. Of all the things to say. Way to go Jaeger.  
He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows.  
I sighed and looked away to try to hide my blush (I had been trying to maintain eye contact with him and that was a bad idea), “Some jerk tried to grope me so I punched him and he got pissed and hard at the same time; I don’t know how but, hey, I guess he likes ‘em feisty.” I inserted a nervous laugh for special effect.  
After a moment without a reply I looked back up at him. His eyes seemed to pierce right through me and his lips were pressed into a thin line; he looked pissed.  
“Um…Levi?” Shit- what did I say wrong?  
He tapped his finger against his arm, “It’s nothing…I was just considering joining Erwin for a moment…too bad he told us to stay here…” My mouth fell open and he shook his head slowly, “Haaah…anyway, why are you wearing that? I realize this is a costume party but…” his eyes trailed down to my skirt and he silently mouthed the word ‘wow’.  
“I lost a bet…” Hahahaaa fuck me (please).  
“To Jean,” he predicted.  
I nodded and looked down miserably. Man this was embarrassing. He was upset probably because I literally fell into his room, I was wearing a cheerleader uniform and it was just plain weird.  
Eren Jaeger = Idiot.  
“We’re going to go get a drink,” he announced loudly.


	4. Wine Man and Condom Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahahaaaaa you gotta love mikasa

My eyes widened and my face lit up, but I was confused by his motives. Why were we going to get drink exactly?  
My confusion must have been clear (either that or he was reading my mind, in which case I was royally fucked) because he chose then to answer my unspoken question, “You look upset.”  
I rolled my eyes, “Well it’s not as if I was just harassed by a gorilla or anything.”  
He smiled and opened the door, “Oh, of course not.”  
So I guess we were getting drinks to cheer me up. Makes sense. As long as he didn’t ditch me if I got too drunk to notice him ditching me, then I was cool with it.  
As we walked down the stairs I noticed Erwin casually chatting with a group of people on the other side of the room. There was no sign of ‘Reiner’ though.  
I glanced up at Levi and I could tell he had noticed the same things. His eyes met mine and he put his hand on my back to gently push me through a group of people. “Seriously, are you okay?”  
I shrugged as we walked toward the kitchen, “Just a little scattered. I’m sure the fact that someone just attacked me will hit me in a minute but maybe I’ll be drunk soon and that won’t happen!”  
He furrowed his eyebrows and handed me a cup, “Yeah, let’s get you a drink.”  
“You’re being awfully nice,” I observed as he took a swig of beer and frowned. He turned to someone near us, shoved the beer into their hand, and sent them on their way in the other direction.  
I chuckled as they stumbled away and turned back to find Levi opening a cabinet and pulling out a bottle of wine. It made sense; he seemed like the classy wine type of guy.  
He never replied to my comment, but I was okay with that. I had a feeling that me pointing out that he was being nice probably made him want to be mean. Hm…did that qualify as bashful? I think it did to an extent. Or was tsundere a better word…  
“Hey, let’s go back to my room,” he requested.  
“Hm?” I didn’t mind really, besides the fact that being a lone with him would make me 104% more awkward and nervous.  
“Too many drunk people here,” he replied as he watched a group of people attempt to twerk together, only to fall down. I sighed as I recognized my friends Connie and Sasha among the group.  
Levi reached for a cup and began to open the bottle to pour out his wine, then seemed to reconsider and instead just took the whole bottle and jerked his head in the direction of his room as if asking me if I was ready. Man I guess angry midget was going to be angry drunk midget.  
I nodded and followed him as he pushed through packs of people- these people weren’t even bothered by his shoving. They just kind of accepted it and fell. Then they either stayed down or laughed.  
When I started up the stairs I felt a light tap on my head and heard a crinkling sound. I bent down and found a piece of plastic was thrown at me? It looked like- oh for the love of God- MIKASA!!!!!!!!!!!!  
That Godamn chick threw a condom at my head!!  
I looked up and searched the room until my eyes met with the intense glare of a small, almond-eyed football player. She was standing with our friends Ymir and Christa as they participated in an avid conversation, yet Mikasa was focused on only me- even from all the way across the room.  
I gave her a wide-eyed questioning face and gestured to the gift: whyyyyy???  
She mouthed Levi’s name silently and touched the tips of her index fingers together- she was demonstrating gay sex if you didn’t catch that.  
I was about to step down and march over there to whack her when Levi called to me from the top of the stairs. “Eren? What are you doing? And what are you holding?”  
I yelped and dropped Mikasa’s ‘present’- and no way in hell was I going to pick it up. I scurried up the stairs to catch up with Levi who was unlocking his door.  
“So what bet did you lose exactly?” Oh y’know, just a simple game that I would have totally won if Jean and Armin hadn’t been such assholes.  
But, since Levi’s eyes kept wandering to my ass, I didn’t particularly mind the fact I lost that bet.  
“Well we played the chicken game and the loser had to wear a costume of the winner’s choosing.”  
He raised an eyebrow as he took a sip from his cup and sat on the edge of his bed, “The chicken game?”  
Yeah we could totally play it together if you wanted. “Yeah it’s basically a game that tests if you’ll chicken out when someone starts touching you. Jean cheated but whatever.”  
“I know what it is, but how does one cheat at that?”  
“Well…” I looked into my cup sadly and gulped down what was left, “You just do, okay?”  
He smirked and held his hand out for my cup. I had never really drunken wine before. But one, Levi was offering it, and two, I wanted to get drunk so yeah. I let him fill my cup (does that sound dirty to anyone else or was it just me?) as he spoke, “I’m surprised.”  
I cautiously took a sip of the wine and shrugged, “I know right! Normally I’d win that for sure but I swear to God he cheated and…”  
There was a thick mask of amusement painted onto his face and I was very close to walking forward and slapping it off of him.  
“I’m surprised you lasted long enough for Jean to get to cheat.”  
I gently kicked his leg, “Screw you! I’m no chicken; I can win that game any day!”  
He put down his empty cup and uncrossed his legs, “Okay. Let’s play it now.”


	5. Now introducing- The Cockblock!

I blinked. I blinked again. I blinked a third time. Part of me was beginning to suspect that Levi knew I was head over heels for him because he was going around pulling shit like that. Or he was reading my mind because I did actually invite him to play it with me. I didn’t think he’d do it though, jeez.  
“Ah, see? You can’t do it, can you?” he taunted.  
That asshole was trying to manipulate me and it was totally working.  
I was already a little tipsy after a cup of beer and a cup of wine. Was that a small amount to get drunk off of? I wasn’t sure. Jean used to tease me and predict I was a lightweight but I never bothered worrying about it or trying to find out if he was right. It was more of me being stubborn and not wanting to take it seriously but there I was, wanting to know if it was true.  
I felt my chest start to get warm but I wasn’t sure if it was due to anger, determination or embarrassment. It may have been all three. It probably was.  
“yeah I can!”  
He chuckled and shook his head, “You’re such a child, Eren.” Then he gestured for me to come to him with his index finger and my breath hitched. He had to be messing with me. He had to be. Normally he was so cold and standoffish and suddenly…he was teasing me. It was the alcohol, I was sure of it. He had to be drunk or close to it.  
I marched over to him and straddled his lap. Hey, if he was gonna tease me I was going to get straight to the point.  
Levi, however, seemed completely unfazed. Instead of freaking out and being nervous he looked up at me expectantly. It wasn’t like I expected him to get nervous that early, but I could hope, okay?  
I put my hands on his shoulders to balance myself and met his stare, “So uh…not feeling nervous or anything yet?”  
He shook his head, “Nope.”  
“Ah…okaaay…” Understanding that I was going to have to do more, my cheeks heated up and I tried to think. Was I going to be brave/douchey and pull a Jean or was I going to go slowly and probably be the one to chicken out??  
Oh God that whole situation took too much effort. Why couldn’t Levi just chicken out from a cheerleader sitting on him?  
He rolled his eyes and sighed then suddenly I was being flipped over onto the bed. He casually situated himself between my legs and loomed over me. “Nervous yet?”  
“N-no,” I breathed. And that was an honest answer, believe it or not. My alcohol-tainted mind was still in the process of trying to comprehend the shock of Levi being on top of me.  
He smirked and placed his hand on the side of my exposed stomach. “Now?”  
I bit my lip and shook my head. Again Jaeger, don’t. Pop. A. Boner. Please don’t.  
His hands began to snake up and under the top part of my costume. His eyes flickered up to mine as if checking my chicken levels. Well it was at zero Levi so you just keep tryingcRAP-  
His thumb brushed against my nipple and I yelped in response. He ran his tongue across his bottom lip and I quickly averted my eyes- he was making this game really hard. Speaking of hard, I just happened to glance at his crotch and notice a slight tent there. And I’m sure if I had looked down, I would have seen a bulge between my own legs, but instead I decided to snap my eyes shut.  
After closing my eyes (which I’m not sure if that actually helped me, I mean it made me feel more vulnerable but at the same time I couldn’t really handle watching him so??) I felt his breath on my face. “Now?”  
I didn’t answer. And yet he must’ve taken my silence as a no because he pressed onwards. Did you catch my foreshadowing/pun there. ‘Pressed’. Because he pressed his lips to mine aHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHOLYFUCK LEVI WAS KISSING ME.  
I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to kiss him back or not? Like was it for the game? If I did and it was, what would happen?  
This kiss however, was a gentle one- which told me it wasn’t just for the game. Or at least that’s what it led me to believe. It also led me to kiss him back.  
It was a really really nice kiss okay. The taste of wine on him was an acquired one, but I really didn’t give a fuck. His lips were soft and warm and I didn’t want to let go.  
This is precisely why that when he pulled away to breath, I automatically let out a, rather childish, whine. He laughed and leaned back down for a kiss that he pressed a little harder into. I felt his knee press against my crotch and gasped. He took the chance to slide his tongue into my mouth and a little moan escaped me.  
Fast-forward thirty seconds and the scene had completely changed.  
Hanji ran in, shoved Levi to the side, threw me over their shoulder, then ran out.  
As I had said earlier, they were bound to find and kidnap me at some point.  
But Godamn, can they respect my privacy and the fact that Levi was about to fuck me? Hanji was 70% worse than Mikasa. Sure, Mikasa threw condoms at me but she wouldn’t have thrown one at me while I was about to be laid by Levi of all people or anything! She would be rooting for me!!  
I didn’t bother fighting against them. The moment was already ruined and I would yell at them when they put me down. It didn’t even make sense; I was under the impression that Hanji was rooting for me too!  
Fuck Hanji okay. Fuck everyone.  
Except Levi- that was my duty.  
I sighed and rested my chin on my palm and hoped nobody could see too far up my skirt on the other side as I waited for the ride to end.  
God, fuck. Hanji.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls dont kill me  
> hanji had good reason ok  
> very good reason  
> a totally good reason  
> that i should probably think of


	6. Strawberry Shortcake Defends Angry Titan Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys are reading and appreciating these chapter titles, because I find them to be quite amusing.  
> Aaand so sorry i didn't update last night! I had a loooooot of homework and didn't have time. but yeah.  
> This chapter has a flashback to the time when Eren realised he liked Levi!  
> Gotta have some background to their relationship right?  
> im having major writers block im so sorry if this chapter isnt as good as the others seriously >_

As we bounced along, a few people that were sober enough to notice gave me sympathetic smiles. I glumly smiled back at them. Hanji was horrible and deserved to die. I could just kick their face…  
Suddenly a Strawberry came into view. Her eyes widened for a second then she excused herself from the group she was with and trailed after Hanji.  
Finally, after being lugged around for a while, I was tossed onto a couch. Petra put her hands on her hips and looked up at Hanji, “What are you doing to Eren??”  
“He was getting down and dirty with Levi!” Hanji exclaimed. Wow way to conceal stuff thanks a lot Hanji.  
Petra gasped and her hands flew up to her cheeks, “That’s great!! So you finally confessed to him?!”  
“N-no,” Man I didn’t want to hate Petra but I was getting darn close.  
Her face seemed to freeze, “So why…oh God you’re both drunk, aren’t you? So you’re going to screw each other and wake up with hangovers and regret it and never get married-!”  
“Petra!” I interrupted, “Oh my God, stop it!!”  
She huffed and crossed her arms, but listened and promptly shut up.  
“Nothing was happening, okay?”  
Hanji snorted and rolled their eyes as Petra looked questioningly at us. “Oh please, you two were about thirty seconds away from pulling out your dingle dongles.” Real mature grammar there Mx Neuroscience major.  
Petra squealed, “How can you say nothing happened? Aren’t you happy?”  
“W-well I was before Hanji barged in. And we were just playing a game…” Yeah guys it was just a game wasn’t it obvious. Oh wait. What if it really was just for the game like Levi meant none of it I just thought it did but what if it wasn’t and Levi really didn’t oh God no.  
“What kind of game was that?” The chicken game God Hanji could you shut up? Couldn’t you see me panicking??  
“Hanji, why did you take Eren?” Strawberry Shortcake wondered.  
“Well they can’t fuck yet!” Why not. Why not Hanji. Why the fuck not Hanji. I thought it was the perfect time but not anymore because my boner was long gone and all I wanted was to lie down and cry bitterly.  
“Why not?” Wow Petra interesting of you to defend me when you were just condemning the idea?  
“Cuz I still wanna hang out with Eren! I don’t see him that often and it’s not fair for Levi to hog Eren’s attention. I have an experiment for class that I wanted to try-“  
“No.”  
I frowned and looked at the girl next to me. Why. How did she know the perfect time to not show up? I did not need her joining this conversation.  
“Mikasa? How did you…?”  
“It’s not a bad experiment or anything! It’s just-“  
“Hanji, no. Last time Eren actually got hurt.”  
I didn’t really mind doing experiments, but what Mikasa said was true.  
Ah, flash back time, shall we?  
Hanji had to do…something. I couldn’t quite remember, but they said it was natural so I never worried about not remembering it.  
They asked me a lot of questions. Then before I went to bed they attached some fancy schmancy wires to my head. I stayed in Levi’s room during that week because Hanji had to observe me and they needed to be close- yet I refused to stay in their room (can you blame me?).  
Staying with Levi wasn’t as awkward as one may think. He was actually pretty nice- grumpily so, but it was because he was worried. Nobody trusted Hanji with their body except for me and Erwin. Erwin because he was Captain America and there was no limit to his abilities, and me because I was abnormally healthy with my abnormally strong immune system.  
A whole machine thingy had to be set next to Levi’s bed. I had no idea what was being done- Hanji said I wasn’t supposed to know the objection or it may influence the outcome.  
They made sure I ate properly, exercised and slept well the day before the first night. Hanji was like a cat stalking me all day and night. But when I stayed in their apartment they didn’t keep a close eye like before; they set up the thingy, told me to sleep normally, then left. Oh wait, I believe they told something to Levi…right! They gave him a walkie-talkie and said to speak to them immediately if I did anything. Anything as in shifted, mumbled, screamed, cried, twitched- anything.  
Levi must have been pretty worried because he agreed to do it without any objections. When I asked what he would do the whole time, he said he’s just study.  
I fell asleep rather peacefully that night. It was actually the morning after that I realized I really liked Levi. Everyone had known before me apparently, and they were also quick on the uptake that I had accepted my feelings for him.  
He chatted with me until I drifted off. He didn’t talk about the experiment though- he was asking about me. See our friendship began with a dive into each other’s personalities. Since he didn’t know much about my history, he took the opportunity to learn about me.  
I told him about Mikasa- how her parents were murdered. My mom- how she died in a fire. My Dad- how he was always gone. About Hannes- the one to look after me and Mikasa. And Armin- about his family.  
He asked about my future and why I had chosen to major in German. We discovered we both wanted to simply travel and experience new cultures.  
It was a nice conversation. At some point I was too tired to answer. I was thinking that I was replying but in reality I was laying there seemingly dead. Before I passed out though, I felt him rub my back. Not in a creepy way and not in an ‘I’m going to kill you in your sleep’ way, but in a comforting way. It didn’t at all occur to me to think about why he was being really gentle I just kind of went with it.  
But the answer came to be later when I woke up in the middle of the night to vomit.  
I learned later that Hanji’s experiment was poking around at different parts of my brain to stimulate different things in my dreams. That night disgust was poked at.  
They were sorry as fuck, Petra and Erwin helped comfort me and Levi got me tea. They didn’t expect such a drastic result. After half an hour or so, we all went back to bed and Hanji put a stopper on it for the night. Levi knew he could finally sleep but he stayed up just in case I would wake up again.  
The next day was fine, Hanji asked me a bunch of questions and that night we underwent the same procedure. They considered switching the experiment to Erwin but I told them I’d be fine.  
Now, if Armin had been there, he might’ve seen the flaw in that plan. The second night, and last night I participated in the experiment, horror was the element of choice.  
A nightmare wouldn’t be such a bad thing if I wasn’t a sleepwalker. That was one of the things Levi had to stay up for- in case I began sleepwalking, but the problem was I was pretty strong.  
So that night, I had a dream my mother was eaten by one of those Titan things and flipped out. Apparently I ran around, broke things, and screamed, but the worse thing was  
I found my way to the stairs.  
I fell, and luckily Levi and Erwin collectively caught me before I could fall down the whole flight of stairs, but I had still managed to break a rib.  
Mikasa was pissed.  
Which was precisely what we were seeing in present time. There was no way in hell I was participating in the experiment with Mikasa around. I didn’t want to though. I wanted to toss Hanji around then go back to Levi.  
Possibly.  
If it was for the game then maybe I shouldn’t have even considered going back up to Levi’s room. Man why couldn’t I just be forward with my feelings and tell the douche that I loved him.  
“Hey, the whole gang’s here! Well except Levi.” Hello Erwin yes great, how perfect everyone all together but let’s not bring up Levi ok I was in the moment of freaking out about him.  
“You can use Erwin in your experiment Hanji, but please don’t ask Eren again.” Wow Mikasa’s really putting her foot down. Now if she could put it down on Hanji’s foot really hard then I…ah who was I kidding? I wasn’t even mad at Hanji anymore. I was just super bummed. If anything, thankful that Hanji interrupted before I had gotten anymore ideas about Levi liking me.  
“Eren? What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing Captai- Erwin…nothing I’m just…thinking.” I looked down at my feet and hoped they would say nothing, because knowing that group there was every possibility they would say something to make me feel worse.  
But I was surprised to find that they didn’t. Instead a cup of beer was shoved into my face. I looked up to Erwin who shrugged and waited until I accepted it.  
I accepted it. Oh how I accepted it. See I wanted to get drunk earlier but that was before I felt like an idiot and in that moment I wanted nothing more than for Levi to fuck me. Wait fuck- I mean I wanted nothing more than to get hammered Jesus Christ…  
I chugged that thing as Hanji laughed and got another cup for me, “Gosh Eren, what’s gotten into you?”  
“Hanji, I would like to ask you the same question.”  
My blood went cold and I froze as a familiar shorty came into view and stepped up to Hanji. “What the FUCK was that, huh? Since when can you just barge into my room like that? And no, Eren is not an excuse- sorry but if you couldn’t tell at the time we were a little busy and thank you very much for shoving against the wall, I appreciated it very much.” We all stared at him with our mouths open as he ranted in a single breath. When he finished his monologue he sighed and began to walk away. My heart fluttered during his small speech because it meant he did like me? But as he walked away my heart fell a little. Jeez I didn’t understand anything.  
“Eren! C’mon!”  
My eyes widened and I slowly stood up, “Um, uh wh-what?”  
He turned back to be, tilted his head then sighed. “Jesus Eren you fucking idiot…” He plucked the cup out of my hand and gracefully swooped me up bridal style to carry me away with our group of friends applauding behind us. Well, Erwin and Petra applauded.  
Hanji cackled and Mikasa threw more condoms at me.


	7. :o

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter!  
> i didn't actually know this would be the end until I wrote it :o  
> but uh yeah  
> keep your eyes out for a possible sequel, because that's definitely a possibility  
> and also for another thing with attack on titan i have coming up- ive just been too lazy to start it, but man it's super cool.  
> therell be another note at the bottom with my tumblr and a thank you :)

Levi didn’t struggle with holding me at all. It surprised me, but only a little bit. He was smaller than me, but he was also really strong. Really strong. He had perfect muscles all over that made me drool while daydreaming.  
When we returned to his room he dropped me on his bed then went to lock the door. I was glad- I didn’t want Hanji interrupting again. Unless they would bring me another drink. My head was getting fuzzy but I wasn’t sure if I was drunk yet.  
I looked at the clock on the side of Levi’s bed and started at it intensely. Maybe if I focused hard enough, it would tell me if I was drunk.  
Oh but no! His closet was open a crack, maybe a monster would come out and could tell me.  
I giggled at the fact his closet was open because all I could think was ‘Levi came out of the closet’ despite the fact he didn’t actually do that.  
How did he come out? He was gay, wasn’t he? Before I could doubt his gayness, I remembered our little game earlier and concluded that he was very gay with a smug smile.  
“You’re drunk, aren’t you?” You bet your short gay ass I was.  
I snorted and looked up in genuine wonder, “I was just thinking the same thing!”  
He chuckled and ran his hand through his hair. We remained in awkward silence as I twiddled my thumbs.  
“Hey Levi?”  
He grunted a quiet ‘Hm?’ in response.  
“Do you wanna play the chicken game again?”  
“I was just thinking the same thing!” he mockingly repeated.  
I tilted my head in confusion- something in his voice told me it was a no. I wondered if it was the heavy sarcasm.  
He gave me a sympathetic smile then crossed his arms and sat down next to me.  
“Eren, you’re drunk,” he stated flatly.  
I furrowed my eyebrows and nodded, “Mhmm.”  
He turned his head to look at me expectantly, “So…I don’t think we should do anything today.”  
I pouted my lip and frowned, “Whaaaaat?”  
The corners of his lips curled up to make a small smile, “I’d just prefer we talk about us first, and I’d also prefer you’d be sober for that conversation.”  
I grumbled and leaned on him. He was completely right.  
Man I was so stupid. What compelled me to drink two more drinks after I already thought I was getting tipsy? Oh right, I thought he didn’t like me, but he did. I snickered and took his hand to entwine our fingers together. Why did I think he didn’t like me? Even if it’s for the chicken game you don’t kiss someone AND get a boner.  
He tilted his head to look at me and quirked an eyebrow, “What?”  
“I love you,” I laughed. “I am completely head over heels for you and it’s all I’ve heard about for the past year and I can’t even handle you looking at me or talking to me and God forbid you say something nice y’know it’s actually convenient you’re mean otherwise I’d have died from a heart attack by now.” A blush crept across his cheeks and his eyes widened like he was going to stop me, but I rambled on. “And that wouldn’t be a good thing I mean I’d like to stick around a little longer and spend more time with you I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of the time I have left with you or does that sound weird? Wow this all sounds weird I am so sorry Levi.” Dammit could I stop being an idiot for at least four minutes? Would that be too much of an inconvenience for the universe?!  
Instead of giving me a weird look or shooing me from his room, he started laughing.  
If his face wasn’t already red from blushing, I’m sure it would have been from laughing too hard. If you didn’t know he was normally stoic, you would’ve thought him to be some normal guy fooling around.  
He grabbed the collar of my uniform and pulled me in for a hot kiss. I shifted into a more comfortable position and wrapped my arms around his neck. Before I could move to get closer he pulled away and sighed, “Eren…”  
“Please Levi, I’m so horny,” I whined.  
He chuckled then laid back and pulled me down with him. Laying down brought sleep into my mind though. He wrapped an arm around my waist and had his other arm above us playing with my hair.  
Everything was suddenly relaxing and I was sleepy as fuck- it was so not fair. Why did Levi have to be kind and respectful? I wanted to get laid.  
Well, thinking about it, I really didn’t. I wanted Levi. Laying together- together, not just staying in his room- laying together. It felt lovely.  
“I’m falling asleep; this isn’t fair,” I mumbled weakly.  
He smiled and kissed the tip of my nose (which was something incredibly cheesy and ridiculous, but did I really mind?), “I love you Eren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here be teh second note  
> my tumblr is ooberry.tumblr.com if you wanna go request a fanfiction i'd love to write it! just give a ship/idea or something  
> and thank you soooooo much for reading this! It was hella fun to write and the biggest part of that was seeing that you guys liked it and kept coming back for more. I'm really sad this is the last chapter haha but as I said, watch out for other stuff by me!  
> Thank you again, I hope you enjoyed the story of the precious gay babies (and the douchey horse face)
> 
> UPDATE HALLOWEEN 15th--  
> Project The Chicken Game and Alcohol sequel is a go  
> I should have it started this weekend after writing out the plot and stuff. But I just wanted to update it here so you guys know beforehand!


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